Recently I have been asking around about my posting on Facebook. Surprisingly most of them said they are good but too lengthy. I will try to break them down into smaller segments so easier to read. Once I have a lot to say about my realisations and findings I just can't stop. I feel so inspired and motivated to keep on continue until it became like writing a blog.
Most of the time I will be using Mobile to access internet and Facebook but can't do blogging. I left with only some of the days whereby I have solid time to access internet using my laptop.
"How not to feel extremely remorseful or over guilty for long? Seek self forgiveness and forgiveness from others. Cos guilt is very poisonous to our overall health. Shall write more about my findings later." This is one of the posts on my Facebook.
Last evening, I attended a talk on Prosperity. Yes, I skipped my Pilates session just to attend this talk. I appreciated that this talk shows us some elements on leading a life of prosperity. I just want to attend because I think I want to have prosperity into my life, I want to welcome it completely and be ready for that to happen.
There are 7 elements to prosperity. Physical health, Mental health, Emotional health, Spiritual health, Relationship, Financial health and Time. Of course there are many such free talks that is actually a hook that will lead you to some very expensive programmes. But come to think of it, usually these people are willing to share with you some important information after the talk so to keep you interested. Keep asking questions.
I did just that. I talked to the Guruma and another guy who went through the whole workshop they offered. The people there are so willing to share.
This talk just lead me to realise that guilt had been holding me back. I started to think about how to minimise guilt or remove guilt by changing the way we look at things. Although it's a day of analysing but I'm just feeling inspired so here's the writing.
Have you ever feel guilty after saying the wrong things because you might have hurt people and that means you are bad especially when good is socially accepted?
Have you ever feel guilty for not doing a good job because you might have affected the sales badly and people got affected as they have to do double or triple works?
Have you ever feel guilty for stealing when you were young because you were then punished by parents or school and they say you are very bad?
Have you ever feel guilty for not treating people well enough because you thought you are a bad person this way and they won't accept you socially?
Have you ever feel guilty when people started to raise their voices at you because immediately you thought you were doing something wrong?
Have you ever feel guilty for falling in love because you thought that was the wrong person and you shouldn't love him or her?
So in the end, guilt makes you yearn to please people in whatever way you can; guilt makes you want to escape facing problems; guilt prevents you from being yourself entirely. And those things that I just mentioned are basically are quite minor in a way and yet our guilt over these small things will accumulate to affect your personalities and people started to take advantage of you, dislike you and boycott you.
What about those people who terrorize, murder, rob and rape? I think I will not be able forgive such people easily yet but are they going to live in guilt for the rest of their many lives and be devoured by such a poisonous emotion since they are already suffering from heinous emotions from their deeds? This one I leave you to judge on your own because I'm not ready to have any answer for such people yet. If you ask some enlighten people, probably they will tell you to forgive such people and they should not live with heavy guilt like the rest of us. When we forgive we benefit too. These enlightened beings have gone through many experiences, learn so much and finally got into full realisation. While I'm not but I wish to.
This writing is base on my analysis and some thinking which I try to reason out so it can be beneficial and help you to minimise guilt.
Guilt is a negative emotion whereby you can't forgive yourself for doing wrong things that are seemingly not accepted socially. This emotion should only be temporary for the sake of learning to forgive yourself thereafter.
So what about the harm that you have done to others? Is guilt your punishment? Will there be bad karma for you? Will they have a bad life because you seems to have harmed them? Since whatever done can't be undone, you seems to have to learn from guilt. You have to accept it that you have bad karma next time so you fear with guilt.
One of the ways is to ask for forgiveness from the people you have seems to have harmed. If you don't think you deserve their forgiveness then ask from yourself first. You have to be willing to forgive yourself then people might start to forgive you. If you believe in God or Universe, ask them to forgive you too.
Another way is to change your views especially if you are seriously not a terrorist, murderer, robber or rapist. You are not criminals. You make mistakes unintentionally. The wisdoms have not reach you yet and you are still learning. Anyway all of us as long as we are human, we are still learning.
Of course we can stop feeling guilty and still learn but guilt seems like a natural process for human being. Once we completely know what is right what is wrong perhaps by then we can stop feeling guilty easily.
Well, let's think that people are also learning from your mistakes too. Below are some of thinking I come out with.
When you speak the wrong words, and the person showed anger or hurt, perhaps once you apologise, he or she will think is there a need to get angry? Of course you need to practise the confidence and pluck up the courage to own up and say sorry then this might happen. You can also learn about their characters through this and understanding come into picture. Depends on the situation sometimes you don't need to apologise.
When you are not doing a fantastic job and people have to do the work for you, they are also practicing doing the job and perhaps if you ask them to give you different type of jobs, you might get new opportunities. Even if you don't, be glad to have asked because you wouldn't know what will happen once they forgive you.
When you steal while young, you should feel thankful enough you never become a robber when you grew up because of the punishment and guilt. But if you become a robber when you grew up, that's another story. The emotions of becoming a criminal is worse than being guilty. Now you know you need not learn to feel guilty the rest of your life, take charge!
If you want to treat people better, probably it is by loving yourself, accepting yourself, encouraging yourself, understanding yourself, forgiving yourself... Treat yourself well, be yourself and you will start to treat people better.
When people started to raise voices at you, it means they are angry and they cannot control their anger. That's their problem not your problem. You have already tried your best to make sure you live a righteous life if that is so. But if you are not and that makes them yell at you, perhaps think that you are still learning to become better consciously or sub-consciously. Reflect about your action and how are you going to express your unhappiness in a much better way instead of imitating them yelling. If all your actions are right, there's no need to worry about the yelling.
When you fall in love with the wrong person, you should feel thankful for having such a positive feeling especially when it comes from the heart not sexual organs. If it's from the heart, feel the heart for that emotion. It can pump in positive happening into your life. Just focus on your heart. If you feel like talking to that person, you can choose to act on this feeling or probably you might be too shy to. If you confess, probably you have to learn through rejection because you have chosen that action towards your feeling.
If it's from sexual organs entirely, it might means you lust for that person just because he or she is sexy, handsome or pretty, and this one probably you have to reflect on your lust whether is it too overwhelming. All you have to do is to stop looking at sexy photos and pornography. Seek to control your environment, you mind and your organ. Lust is here for you to learn too and it's suppose to help in creating babies if the desire to have sex is at healthy level between couples. There's no need to hate your sexual organs or feel guilty because your sexual organs itch since we are created this way to reproduce. Just learn to control it and practice controlling the organs with your mind.
Every choice of actions will lead to learning something someday.
Below will be something I have read.
If you have been living with guilt for so long and find all these point of views hard to comprehend, you can learn to start with affirmation by repeating to yourself looking at your mirror image "I'm sorry, please forgive me." If that does not work for you, you can try saying " I approve of myself." Say it aloud or run them in your mind for hundred times. These words help me a lot in my inner work and hope they can help you too.
I always believe that work from a pure good heart and soul will be fantastic, so I seek to replenish the right knowledge and work from the inner.
May all beings be well and happy, free from unnecessary guilt.
